Most of the time I cringe when I hear someone offer this advice: “You have to do what makes you happy.” I’ve seen too many people follow this counsel to its logical conclusion, only to be hurt and lost. Happiness is fleeting. What makes us individually happy is rarely a way to measure a good life. When we offer advice like this, I wonder if we are more concerned that the person needing the advice avoids pain and feels better about him or herself. Are you happy in this relationship? Are you happy in your job? Are you happy in your $50,000 convertible? Is happiness really the issue here?

If we are willing to be sincere, however, taking time to reflect on the meaning of happiness and its connection to a life well lived is often a helpful and healthy exercise. Young Adult is a movie that invites viewers to consider two important, life-shaping questions: What is happiness? What is the essence of a good life? Mavis (Charlize Theron) has been living life based on a script that hasn’t worked. She was the most popular girl in high school, had gone off to college and then moved to the big city to make something of herself. Freedom was Mavis’s dream. Free from the confines of a small town, free from the expectations of her parents, free from the shackles and burden of being married or raising a family. Free to do whatever she wanted. No restrictions. No restraints. Her occupation as a ghost writer for a young adult fiction series gave her the flexibility and presumably enough income to live her dream. But the dream was slowly becoming a nightmare. The story that was supposed to bring liberation began to enslave her.

Mavis learns that her high school sweetheart, Buddy (Patrick Wilson), had gotten married and had recently had a child. Buddy worked for his father’s business, still lived in the town in which he grew up, and now was producing offspring. It was too much for Mavis to take. How could Buddy live such a boring story? How could he lose control of his life in such a tragic way? There was only one thing for Mavis to do. She had to save him. She devised a plan to seduce Buddy away from his wife and child.

“Everyone gets old. Not everyone grows up.” The movie’s subtitle says it all. Critics have described Young Adult as “hilariously awkward,” “darkly funny,” “wryly amusing,” and “a cringefest in the best way possible.” My guess is that screenwriter Diablo Cody (Juno) was hoping for this kind of response.

Young Adult is a movie worth watching, especially for those charged with helping adolescents grow into healthy adulthood. It forces us to think more deeply about the meaning of a good life, the importance of community, and the cultural narratives that shape our desires and imaginations. There is growing concern that young people are taking too long to “grow up.” Social scientists have named it extended adolescence and emerging adulthood. Churches seem to be perplexed about how to “reach” people in their 20s and 30s. Young Adult is a gift to those who wish to better understand our cultural moment and the hopes and fears of our young neighbors. It isn’t an easy movie to watch, to be sure. It is, after all, a cringe-fest. It probably won’t make you happy. But being uncomfortable isn’t always a bad thing. Oftentimes it moves us toward empathy and action.

One of my favorite events of the year is the annual Jubilee Conference in Pittsburgh, PA. It is a conference designed to help college students be “faithful to Christ in every area of life.” For the past five years we have invited high school students, their parents and youth workers to “experience Jubilee.” Our hope is to provide an opportunity for college-bound students to gain a glimpse of what being a Christian college student looks like. This year I am pleased to be partnering with David Kinnaman, author of the recent book, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith. David and I will lead a short session with attendees and then head over to the Pittsburgh convention Center for the Saturday evening session of Jubilee. But wait, there’s more! Every student who attends will receive a FREE copy of Make College Count and every parent or youth worker who attends will receive a copy of You Lost Me (while supplies last, of course!). Here are the details:

This event is an opportunity for high school students to experience the Jubilee Conference and gain a vision for living out their faith in college. Hear from authors and speakers, Derek Melleby & David Kinnaman, on the college transition and then join over 2,500 college students for an evening of inspiration and worship, including talks from Saleem Ghubril and Eric Mason.

Experience Jubilee is open to high school students, youth pastors and parents.

Saturday, February 18, 2012
6:30pm-9:30pm
David L. Lawrence Convention Center

Cost: $15 per person  (Group rate of $10 available for parties of 8 or more.)
Registration will be held from 6:15pm-6:30pm outside of DLL Convention Center Room 305

CLICK HERE TO REGISTER!

Click here for Part 1.

Crazy U: One Dad’s Crash Course in Getting His Kid into College by Andrew Ferguson (Simon & Schuster). Ferguson writes about his experience walking through the college admission’s process with his son. “For Americans who had gone to college in the fifties, sixties, or early seventies, a process that had seemed rather straightforward—find a school, preferably nearby, figure out how to pay for it, leave home, study, flirt, party—now appeared unexpectedly elaborate and crucially important, complicated by a bewildering array of plausible options and eager come-ons. Parents seemed slightly stunned, and then uneasy, and then confused.” As a journalist and parent, Ferguson was compelled to write a book to help eliminate the confusion. He explains, “For every piece of advice or information a parent or child receives while applying to college, there is an equal and opposite piece of advice or information that will contradict it.” What’s most appealing about this book is that Ferguson isn’t afraid to challenge the assumption that everyone should go to college. Or even, that one has to go to college to be successful.

King’s Cross: The Story of the World in the Life of Jesus by Timothy Keller (Dutton). Keller writes, “The whole story of the world—and of how we fit into it—is most clearly understood through a careful, direct look at the story of Jesus.” In this book, Keller uses the Gospel of Mark to give readers a direct look at the story of Jesus. And it is direct. The Gospel of Mark is the shortest and most straight forward of the four Gospels. The first part of the book focuses on Jesus as “King” and the second part focuses on the meaning of the cross. It is Keller doing what he does best: explaining complex theological concepts in a way that connects to everyday life. I’ve always finished a book by Keller and thought, “Oh, so that’s why the Gospel is so important… and true.”

Abraham Kuyper: A Short and Personal Introduction by Richard Mouw (Eerdmans). Since I first heard them, I have been deeply motivated by Kuyper’s famous words: “There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is sovereign over all, does not cry ‘Mine!’” Mouw has been too, and in this engaging book he accomplishes two things. First, he provides a short biography and history of Kuyper’s legacy. Second, he explains the contemporary implications of Kuyper’s theology covering a wide array of topics including education, politics, the church, and the arts. Mouw’s book is a helpful guide for anyone considering the integration of faith and culture.

The Pastor: A Memoir by Eugene Peterson (HarperOne). Peterson is probably best known for his Bible translation The Message, or his countless books on the spiritual life or his many years as a seminary professor. What probably isn’t as well known, is that Peterson was a pastor for 29 years before publishing his contemporary version of scripture, or writing many of his books or teaching at a seminary! The Pastor offers readers a behind-the-scenes look at Peterson’s life as a pastor of a Presbyterian church-plant outside of Baltimore, Maryland. The book explains how he reluctantly and haphazardly became a pastor, growing into his call overtime. Writing honestly about his own struggles as a pastor, he is especially concerned with the state of the pastoral vocation today: “I didn’t want to be a religious professional whose identity was institutionalized. I didn’t want to be a pastor whose sense of worth derived from whether people affirmed or ignored me. In short, I didn’t want to be a pastor in the ways that were most in evidence and more rewarded in the American consumerist and celebrity culture.”

Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids by Kara Powell & Chap Clark (Zondervan). This book is the first of many resources to be developed out of Fuller Youth Institute’s College Transition Project. The main goal of the “Sticky Faith” research was to “understand the dynamics of youth group graduates’ transition to college and to identify the relationships and best practices in youth ministries, churches, and families that can help set students on a trajectory of lifelong faith and service.” Powell and Clark offer valuable insights into how parents can help nurture in their kids a faith that lasts. There is also a Youth Worker’s Edition and video curriculum (for parents and students) available.

HONORABLE MENTIONS. Here are a few additional books published in 2011 that I know I would have really enjoyed had I had time to read them!

Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes: Cultural Studies in 1 Corinthians by Kenneth Bailey (InterVarsity Press).

Pattern of Wounds: A Roland March Mystery by J. Mark Bertrand (Bethany House).

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to Jesus: Reading the Gospels on the Ground by Bruce Fisk (Baker Academic).

Wisdom & Wonder: Common Grace in Science & Art by Abraham Kuyper (Christian’s Library Press).

Getting Wasted: Why College Students Drink Too Much and Party So Hard by Thomas Vander Ven (NYU).

Simply Jesus: A New Vision of Who He Was, What He Did, and Why He Matters by N.T. Wright (HarperOne).

Another great year of reading has come to a close. It’s time to celebrate some of the best books that crossed my desk in 2011. I’m going to limit the “awards” to those books published in 2011. When I think of some of the best books I read in 2011, however, three slightly older books come immediately to mind. The Identity Man by Andrew Klavan (2010), The Abstinence Teacher (2007) by Tom Perrotta, and The Modern Library Writer’s Workshop: A Guide to the Craft of Fiction (2003) by Stephen Koch. Two very good novels and one book about writing a novel? Interesting… maybe someday I’ll take a shot at it myself! For now, here are my favorite books of 2011 (listed alphabetically by author):

Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses by Richard Arum and Josipa Roksa (The University of Chicago Press). After many years of monitoring student learning, two university professors concluded that many students don’t learn very much in college. According to this groundbreaking book, forty-five percent of students “did not demonstrate any significant improvement in learning” during the first two years of college, and thirty-six percent didn’t demonstrate much learning over four years of college. The authors note that many students drift “through college without a clear sense of purpose.” The main reason very few students are learning much in college is “lack of academic rigor.” I’ve written a bit more about this book here.

The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement by David Brooks (Random House). Let me say upfront that this might be one of the best books I’ve ever read. But here’s the thing: it’s hard to say what it is about. I jokingly said to someone the other day, “if Seinfeld is a sitcom about nothing, The Social Animal is a book about everything.” Brooks tells the story of two people, Harold and Erica. But it’s not a novel. Brooks uses the characters as tool to illustrate what drives individual behavior and decision making. Greatly influenced by the “cognitive revolution,” he draws from research in various areas such as sociology, psychology, biology and neuroscience. Brooks counters many modern assumptions about what it means to be human and ends up affirming ancient wisdom: people are interdependent (social), not independent and driven more by emotion (desire) than reason (thinking). Every sentence of the book is fascinating and has deep implications for the church and youth/young adult ministry. I highly recommend it.  

Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers by Chap Clark (Baker Academic). This is a revised and expanded edition of Hurt, which was originally published in 2004. After reading it again this year I was reminded of how important it is. Clark’s ongoing study of teenagers reveals that many teens have been “systemically abandoned” by adults. Clark writes: “There is simply too much cumulative weight that points to a disturbing trend: the way mid-adolescents have been forced to design their own world and separate social system has created perhaps the most serious and yet understudied social crisis of our time.”CPYU president Walt Mueller says this: “Hurt 2.0 offers a deep and penetrating look into the contemporary adolescent experience that will serve us well as we work to have a prophetic, preventive, and redemptive influence on the world of today’s youth culture.”

InSideOut Coaching: How Sports Can Transform Lives by Joe Ehrmann (Simon & Schuster). Parade Magazine called Joe Ehrmann “The most important coach in America.” Here’s why: Ehrmann cares deeply about his players and wants nothing more than to see them mature into responsible adults. His new book tells the story of how he began to see the transformational power of sports and how he intentionally integrates his faith with coaching. Everyone who cares about young athletes, coaches, parents, pastors, should read this book. It is a reminder of how sports are meant to be played and why they can and should have a positive impact on young people.

You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith by David Kinnaman (Baker Books). Kinnaman is president of the research firm the Barna Group and coauthor of the bestselling unChristian. You Lost Me reveals the long-awaited results of a new nationwide study of young adults with a Christian background. Discover why so many are disengaging from the faith communities, renew your hope for how God is at work in the next generation and find out how you can join in. I had the honor of contributing to the last chapter of the book: “Fifty Ideas to Find a Generation.” Click here for a fuller review.

More to come…

From Hearts & Minds BookNotes:

Make College Count: A Faithful Guide to Life & Learning by Derek Melleby (Baker) $12.99, cover design by Lookout Design. You know that we’ve promoted this widely, our store and BookNotes gets a shout out, and we think it is the best graduation gift to any college-bound senior. We had read the manuscript and knew we’d be pressing it into the hands of many, so it had to look sharp. This little hardback, sans dust jacket, succeeds wonderfully, with odd little plus signs and a rich fall color scheme that invites you right on campus. The typography uses slightly different colors (and that plus sign is used as an ampersand). These nice touches and the bright spine shows off a very intentionally created cover. Good design inside, too. Just great!

Click here to read the rest of the selections.

My son Jacob recently turned four and he can be a little dramatic. I don’t know where he gets it. He’s also learning new words and putting them together in his own unique sentences. A few weeks ago he was crawling behind me with his head down and eyes closed. I was facing the other way when I suddenly felt a sharp pain. Jacob had slammed his forehead into my lower back. Rubbing his head, Jacob looked up at me and said with a smile, “I bumped into a world I didn’t know before!”

I have no idea where he came up with that phrase, but it’s a good one. It is the perfect way to describe why I am passionate about what I do. The transition from high school to college is one of the most important transitions in a young person’s life. Each year, if students aren’t adequately prepared, they oftentimes “bump into a world they didn’t know before.” Fuller Theological Seminary recently conducted research on the challenges students face transitioning to college. After four years of interviewing high school and college students, here’s what the research revealed:

“Only one in seven (14%) high school seniors report feeling prepared to face the challenges of college life. Few students seem ready for the intensity of the college experience and the perfect storm of loneliness, the search for new friends, being completely on their own for the first time, and the sudden availability of a lot of partying. One pervasive struggle for college students is finding a new church, as evident by the 40 percent of college freshmen who report difficulty doing so. Young believers’ need for greater preparation is heightened by the powerful influence of their initial post-high school decisions. Young people retrospectively report that the first two weeks of their college freshman year set the trajectory for their remaining years in school.”

The College Transition Initiative addresses this need by providing resources for students and parents before they step foot on campus. My desire is to see more and more students prepared spiritually for the challenges they will encounter. Your financial investment in this ministry helps students navigate those challenges from a biblical perspective. Please consider an “end-of-the-year” donation (or anytime!) that will ensure that this ministry and message reaches more students in 2012. I am grateful for your support!

The College Transition Initiative is made possible by the faithful financial support of individuals and churches. Click here to make an online contribution. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about making a donation or about how your contribution will be used.

Christopher Hitchens died on December 15. He had a well-established career as a writer, covering a wide array of cultural topics. But he is probably most known for being an outspoken atheist. His book God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything was a New York Times Bestseller, and identified Hitchens, along with Richard Dawkins, Daniel C. Dennett, Sam Harris, and Victor J. Stenger as one of the “Four Horsemen” of the “New Atheist” movement. According to CNN, “what the New Atheists share is a belief that religion should not simply be tolerated but should be countered, criticized and exposed by rational argument wherever its influence arises.”

Peter Hitchens, Christopher’s brother, is an outspoken Christian and author of The Rage Against God: How Atheism Led Me to Faith. Last week he offered a very moving tribute to his brother’s life worth reading: “In Memoriam, my courageous brother Christopher, 1949-2011.” I can only imagine what their dinner conversations were like! Christopher was a fierce debater. In fact, a documentary was made about his public debates with the evangelical Christian Doug Wilson. Shortly after Christopher’s death, Christianity Today posted a eulogy, of sorts, entitled “Christopher Hitchens Has Died, Doug Wilson Reflects: How to think about the death of the outspoken atheist.”

And so, a few days before Christmas, that’s what I’m doing; I’m thinking about the death of an outspoken atheist. I’ve never met Christopher Hitchens. I only know him through his writing and reputation. From what I gather, I think I would have liked talking to him. Doug Wilson described him as “an affable and pleasant dinner companion, and fully capable of being the perfect gentleman.” That doesn’t surprise me. Religious people, too often, perhaps, assume that atheists are malicious and unkind. It is always somewhat shocking to discover that many atheists are not much different than most people of faith. Atheists have well thought out ways of understanding the world, they cling to their ideas, and many genuinely hope that others come to share their beliefs.

I am a Christian of the evangelical variety. I affirm the historic Creeds of the church, believe the Bible to be the inspired, infallible word of God and pray that all would come to put their hope and trust (faith) in Jesus as Lord and Savior. Christopher Hitchens’ death, however, reveals a tension that I have always lived with. As I think about my own interactions with atheists, one word comes to mind: thankful. In a strange, almost paradoxical way, I have been blessed by and thankful for my interactions with people who don’t believe. I have often noted that being exposed to an atheist professor very early on in my college career was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Far from becoming a stumbling block to my faith, the professor forced me to wrestle with tough questions about why I believed what I believed. I learned that there are no easy answers to life’s biggest questions.

I’ll never forget the last day of class with my atheist professor. We were invited to ask him anything we wanted. A classmate nervously lifted his hand and asked, “What do you think happens to us when we die?” Without flinching, the professor smiled and said, “Worm food.” I can still see his smiling face like it happened yesterday. No one dared to ask him any more questions.

Here’s my quandary: I’m not sure what kind of believer I would be if it were not for the atheists in my life! Much is made of the mystery of Christmas: the virgin birth, the baby-king in a manger, the bright star appearing, the angels singing. “Veiled in flesh the God-head see! Hail, incarnate deity!” As I get older, I’m realizing more and more that the greatest gift of all is that of faith itself. Indeed, faith is a gift. Now, why was that gift given to me? I’m reminded that there are no easy answers to life’s biggest questions.

During the month of November, as part of an assignment for a class I am taking at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, I spent a good amount of time observing students at a local high school. I walked the hallways, had casual conversations with faculty and staff, sat in on a class, hung out in the cafeteria, attended a basketball practice, and conducted informal interviews with students during study hall. I learned much about the “world of American teens,” witnessing and listening, as best I could, to their hopes and fears. It’s not easy being a teenager, to be sure, but I did see many glimmers of light.

There is an old adage about politics (attributed to Lord Bismarck) that carries much wisdom: “If you want to respect sausage or law, then don’t watch either being made.” I think something similar could be said about the maturation process. If you want to respect an adult, don’t watch him or her being made! It’s not an easy journey. Twists and turns and ups and downs are par for the course. Spending time at the school definitely increased my gratitude for the many teachers, counselors, pastors, coaches, mentors and family members who do their best to help boys and girls become men and women.

David Brooks, a columnist for The New York Times, is currently doing a feature on his blog called “Life Reports.” He asked people over 70 to write autobiographical essays evaluating their own lives. Brooks hopes that “these essays will be useful to the young.” Here’s how he explained his motivation for doing this to would-be contributors:

“Young people are educated in many ways, but they are given relatively little help in understanding how a life develops, how careers and families evolve, what are the common mistakes and the common blessings of modern adulthood. These essays will help them benefit from your experience.”

One thing that stuck out to me as I was spending time with students last month was their interest in me and my work. The students asked very perceptive questions about how I decided on my career and what I did every day. At first, I thought that it was because my work was especially interesting or unique to them. But it wasn’t. The students were just genuinely interested in how career choices are made and what life looks like after high school. It became obvious to me that the students didn’t have many opportunities to have these kinds of conversations.

William Damon of Stanford University reports that only 20% of teens “express a clear vision of where they want to go, what they want to accomplish and why.” That’s probably about right. My work puts me in contact with many teenagers who are clueless about what they want to “do” in life. Most students don’t seem to know why (or if) they want to go to college, what they want to study or what kind of career they would like to have. It’s easy to be frustrated by a young person’s apathy and lack of vision for the future. But I think Brooks is onto something when he suggests that young people need more help understanding and seeing how a life develops. As a society, I don’t think we foster enough opportunities for meaningful dialogue between the young and the old.

The Christian tradition has a rich history of creating space for followers of Christ to give testimony to the ways in which God has worked in a person’s life. Some churches seemed to have drifted from the practice. Too often, perhaps, the testimonies focused too narrowly on a person’s “conversion experience,” making it difficult for most people to connect with the story. I don’t want to undermine the importance of hearing about the ways in which God’s grace is extended to new believers. I do, however, want to challenge all of us to create more opportunities for young people to hear from the “old,” to listen to a story well told, to see how a life is well lived and to be given the freedom and time to ask good questions. Brooks’ Life Reports should motivate the church to do something similar. My time with students at a local high school taught me that young people are eager to listen and ready to learn.

We have had a great response to our invitation to host a College Transition Seminar next spring. So much so, in fact, that we would like to extend the geographic region and offer more dates!

Initially we targeted “Central, PA” to cut down on travel costs. Really, what we are looking for are locations that are in (reasonable!) driving distant from Lancaster, PA. That would include, but not be limited to:

• Southeast, PA
• Northeast, PA
• New Jersey
• Northern Maryland
• Baltimore, MD
• Northern Virginia
• Any other location that is interested!  

We are also offering additional dates. If you have a date in mind (a Sunday, perhaps?) that is not listed, please let me know. I’m sure we can make it work! Here are the targeted dates:

• March 22 (Thursday evening)
• March 24 (Saturday morning)
• March 27 (Tuesday evening)
• March 31 (Saturday morning)
• April 12 (Thursday evening)
• April 14 (Saturday morning)
• April 17 (Tuesday evening)
• Any day during the first three weeks of May!

And remember, CPYU is waiving the honorarium (normally $800) and will handle the registrations, charging a modest fee for people to attend. (CPYU will also supply marketing materials.)

Please contact me if you are interested or have questions.

Click here for more details

Read Walt Mueller blog about the CTI Spring Tour  

CPYU is offering an exciting opportunity for youth workers in central, PA to host a College Transition Seminar. CPYU is waiving the honorarium (normally $800) and will handle the registrations on their website! The College Transition Seminar provides a great opportunity to:

• Bring families together to have meaningful conversations about college life
• Equip students to live out their Christian faith during the college years
• Invite and serve others in your community

We are seeking venues to host seminars on the following dates:

• March 22 (Thursday evening)
• March 27 (Tuesday evening)
• March 31 (Saturday morning)
• April 12 (Thursday evening)
• April 14 (Saturday morning)
• April 17 (Tuesday evening)

 A host will be asked to:

• Provide a room that holds at least 100 people
• Provide AV support
• Provide light refreshments (is possible)
• Welcome guests and introduce the speaker
• Assist in marketing the event (materials will be provided)

Hosts will also receive a collection of CPYU resources ($100 value)! The seminar is 2 hours in length. If you are interested or have questions, please contact me.

Read Walt Mueller’s blog about the CTI Spring Tour

Watch a sample clip of the presentation

Read an overview of the seminar

Hear what others are saying about the seminar