Most of the time I cringe when I hear someone offer this advice: “You have to do what makes you happy.” I’ve seen too many people follow this counsel to its logical conclusion, only to be hurt and lost. Happiness is fleeting. What makes us individually happy is rarely a way to measure a good life. When we offer advice like this, I wonder if we are more concerned that the person needing the advice avoids pain and feels better about him or herself. Are you happy in this relationship? Are you happy in your job? Are you happy in your $50,000 convertible? Is happiness really the issue here?
If we are willing to be sincere, however, taking time to reflect on the meaning of happiness and its connection to a life well lived is often a helpful and healthy exercise. Young Adult is a movie that invites viewers to consider two important, life-shaping questions: What is happiness? What is the essence of a good life? Mavis (Charlize Theron) has been living life based on a script that hasn’t worked. She was the most popular girl in high school, had gone off to college and then moved to the big city to make something of herself. Freedom was Mavis’s dream. Free from the confines of a small town, free from the expectations of her parents, free from the shackles and burden of being married or raising a family. Free to do whatever she wanted. No restrictions. No restraints. Her occupation as a ghost writer for a young adult fiction series gave her the flexibility and presumably enough income to live her dream. But the dream was slowly becoming a nightmare. The story that was supposed to bring liberation began to enslave her.
Mavis learns that her high school sweetheart, Buddy (Patrick Wilson), had gotten married and had recently had a child. Buddy worked for his father’s business, still lived in the town in which he grew up, and now was producing offspring. It was too much for Mavis to take. How could Buddy live such a boring story? How could he lose control of his life in such a tragic way? There was only one thing for Mavis to do. She had to save him. She devised a plan to seduce Buddy away from his wife and child.
“Everyone gets old. Not everyone grows up.” The movie’s subtitle says it all. Critics have described Young Adult as “hilariously awkward,” “darkly funny,” “wryly amusing,” and “a cringefest in the best way possible.” My guess is that screenwriter Diablo Cody (Juno) was hoping for this kind of response.
Young Adult is a movie worth watching, especially for those charged with helping adolescents grow into healthy adulthood. It forces us to think more deeply about the meaning of a good life, the importance of community, and the cultural narratives that shape our desires and imaginations. There is growing concern that young people are taking too long to “grow up.” Social scientists have named it extended adolescence and emerging adulthood. Churches seem to be perplexed about how to “reach” people in their 20s and 30s. Young Adult is a gift to those who wish to better understand our cultural moment and the hopes and fears of our young neighbors. It isn’t an easy movie to watch, to be sure. It is, after all, a cringe-fest. It probably won’t make you happy. But being uncomfortable isn’t always a bad thing. Oftentimes it moves us toward empathy and action.
One of my favorite events of the year is the annual Jubilee Conference in Pittsburgh, PA. It is a conference designed to help college students be “faithful to Christ in every area of life.” For the past five years we have invited high school students, their parents and youth workers to “experience Jubilee.” Our hope is to provide an opportunity for college-bound students to gain a glimpse of what being a Christian college student looks like. This year I am pleased to be partnering with David Kinnaman, author of the recent book, You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith. David and I will lead a short session with attendees and then head over to the Pittsburgh convention Center for the Saturday evening session of Jubilee. But wait, there’s more! Every student who attends will receive a FREE copy of Make College Count and every parent or youth worker who attends will receive a copy of You Lost Me (while supplies last, of course!). Here are the details:
This event is an opportunity for high school students to experience the Jubilee Conference and gain a vision for living out their faith in college. Hear from authors and speakers, Derek Melleby & David Kinnaman, on the college transition and then join over 2,500 college students for an evening of inspiration and worship, including talks from Saleem Ghubril and Eric Mason.
Experience Jubilee is open to high school students, youth pastors and parents.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
6:30pm-9:30pm
David L. Lawrence Convention Center
Cost: $15 per person (Group rate of $10 available for parties of 8 or more.)
Registration will be held from 6:15pm-6:30pm outside of DLL Convention Center Room 305
CLICK HERE TO REGISTER!
Click here for Part 1.
Crazy U: One Dad’s Crash Course in Getting His Kid into College by Andrew Ferguson (Simon & Schuster). Ferguson writes about his experience walking through the college admission’s process with his son. “For Americans who had gone to college in the fifties, sixties, or early seventies, a process that had seemed rather straightforward—find a school, preferably nearby, figure out how to pay for it, leave home, study, flirt, party—now appeared unexpectedly elaborate and crucially important, complicated by a bewildering array of plausible options and eager come-ons. Parents seemed slightly stunned, and then uneasy, and then confused.” As a journalist and parent, Ferguson was compelled to write a book to help eliminate the confusion. He explains, “For every piece of advice or information a parent or child receives while applying to college, there is an equal and opposite piece of advice or information that will contradict it.” What’s most appealing about this book is that Ferguson isn’t afraid to challenge the assumption that everyone should go to college. Or even, that one has to go to college to be successful.
King’s Cross: The Story of the World in the Life of Jesus by Timothy Keller (Dutton). Keller writes, “The whole story of the world—and of how we fit into it—is most clearly understood through a careful, direct look at the story of Jesus.” In this book, Keller uses the Gospel of Mark to give readers a direct look at the story of Jesus. And it is direct. The Gospel of Mark is the shortest and most straight forward of the four Gospels. The first part of the book focuses on Jesus as “King” and the second part focuses on the meaning of the cross. It is Keller doing what he does best: explaining complex theological concepts in a way that connects to everyday life. I’ve always finished a book by Keller and thought, “Oh, so that’s why the Gospel is so important… and true.”
Abraham Kuyper: A Short and Personal Introduction by Richard Mouw (Eerdmans). Since I first heard them, I have been deeply motivated by Kuyper’s famous words: “There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is sovereign over all, does not cry ‘Mine!’” Mouw has been too, and in this engaging book he accomplishes two things. First, he provides a short biography and history of Kuyper’s legacy. Second, he explains the contemporary implications of Kuyper’s theology covering a wide array of topics including education, politics, the church, and the arts. Mouw’s book is a helpful guide for anyone considering the integration of faith and culture.
The Pastor: A Memoir by Eugene Peterson (HarperOne). Peterson is probably best known for his Bible translation The Message, or his countless books on the spiritual life or his many years as a seminary professor. What probably isn’t as well known, is that Peterson was a pastor for 29 years before publishing his contemporary version of scripture, or writing many of his books or teaching at a seminary! The Pastor offers readers a behind-the-scenes look at Peterson’s life as a pastor of a Presbyterian church-plant outside of Baltimore, Maryland. The book explains how he reluctantly and haphazardly became a pastor, growing into his call overtime. Writing honestly about his own struggles as a pastor, he is especially concerned with the state of the pastoral vocation today: “I didn’t want to be a religious professional whose identity was institutionalized. I didn’t want to be a pastor whose sense of worth derived from whether people affirmed or ignored me. In short, I didn’t want to be a pastor in the ways that were most in evidence and more rewarded in the American consumerist and celebrity culture.”
Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids by Kara Powell & Chap Clark (Zondervan). This book is the first of many resources to be developed out of Fuller Youth Institute’s College Transition Project. The main goal of the “Sticky Faith” research was to “understand the dynamics of youth group graduates’ transition to college and to identify the relationships and best practices in youth ministries, churches, and families that can help set students on a trajectory of lifelong faith and service.” Powell and Clark offer valuable insights into how parents can help nurture in their kids a faith that lasts. There is also a Youth Worker’s Edition and video curriculum (for parents and students) available.
HONORABLE MENTIONS. Here are a few additional books published in 2011 that I know I would have really enjoyed had I had time to read them!
Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes: Cultural Studies in 1 Corinthians by Kenneth Bailey (InterVarsity Press).
Pattern of Wounds: A Roland March Mystery by J. Mark Bertrand (Bethany House).
A Hitchhiker’s Guide to Jesus: Reading the Gospels on the Ground by Bruce Fisk (Baker Academic).
Wisdom & Wonder: Common Grace in Science & Art by Abraham Kuyper (Christian’s Library Press).
Getting Wasted: Why College Students Drink Too Much and Party So Hard by Thomas Vander Ven (NYU).
Simply Jesus: A New Vision of Who He Was, What He Did, and Why He Matters by N.T. Wright (HarperOne).
Another great year of reading has come to a close. It’s time to celebrate some of the best books that crossed my desk in 2011. I’m going to limit the “awards” to those books published in 2011. When I think of some of the best books I read in 2011, however, three slightly older books come immediately to mind. The Identity Man by Andrew Klavan (2010), The Abstinence Teacher (2007) by Tom Perrotta, and The Modern Library Writer’s Workshop: A Guide to the Craft of Fiction (2003) by Stephen Koch. Two very good novels and one book about writing a novel? Interesting… maybe someday I’ll take a shot at it myself! For now, here are my favorite books of 2011 (listed alphabetically by author):
Academically Adrift: Limited Learning on College Campuses by Richard Arum and Josipa Roksa (The University of Chicago Press). After many years of monitoring student learning, two university professors concluded that many students don’t learn very much in college. According to this groundbreaking book, forty-five percent of students “did not demonstrate any significant improvement in learning” during the first two years of college, and thirty-six percent didn’t demonstrate much learning over four years of college. The authors note that many students drift “through college without a clear sense of purpose.” The main reason very few students are learning much in college is “lack of academic rigor.” I’ve written a bit more about this book here.
The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement by David Brooks (Random House). Let me say upfront that this might be one of the best books I’ve ever read. But here’s the thing: it’s hard to say what it is about. I jokingly said to someone the other day, “if Seinfeld is a sitcom about nothing, The Social Animal is a book about everything.” Brooks tells the story of two people, Harold and Erica. But it’s not a novel. Brooks uses the characters as tool to illustrate what drives individual behavior and decision making. Greatly influenced by the “cognitive revolution,” he draws from research in various areas such as sociology, psychology, biology and neuroscience. Brooks counters many modern assumptions about what it means to be human and ends up affirming ancient wisdom: people are interdependent (social), not independent and driven more by emotion (desire) than reason (thinking). Every sentence of the book is fascinating and has deep implications for the church and youth/young adult ministry. I highly recommend it.
Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers by Chap Clark (Baker Academic). This is a revised and expanded edition of Hurt, which was originally published in 2004. After reading it again this year I was reminded of how important it is. Clark’s ongoing study of teenagers reveals that many teens have been “systemically abandoned” by adults. Clark writes: “There is simply too much cumulative weight that points to a disturbing trend: the way mid-adolescents have been forced to design their own world and separate social system has created perhaps the most serious and yet understudied social crisis of our time.”CPYU president Walt Mueller says this: “Hurt 2.0 offers a deep and penetrating look into the contemporary adolescent experience that will serve us well as we work to have a prophetic, preventive, and redemptive influence on the world of today’s youth culture.”
InSideOut Coaching: How Sports Can Transform Lives by Joe Ehrmann (Simon & Schuster). Parade Magazine called Joe Ehrmann “The most important coach in America.” Here’s why: Ehrmann cares deeply about his players and wants nothing more than to see them mature into responsible adults. His new book tells the story of how he began to see the transformational power of sports and how he intentionally integrates his faith with coaching. Everyone who cares about young athletes, coaches, parents, pastors, should read this book. It is a reminder of how sports are meant to be played and why they can and should have a positive impact on young people.
You Lost Me: Why Young Christians Are Leaving Church and Rethinking Faith by David Kinnaman (Baker Books). Kinnaman is president of the research firm the Barna Group and coauthor of the bestselling unChristian. You Lost Me reveals the long-awaited results of a new nationwide study of young adults with a Christian background. Discover why so many are disengaging from the faith communities, renew your hope for how God is at work in the next generation and find out how you can join in. I had the honor of contributing to the last chapter of the book: “Fifty Ideas to Find a Generation.” Click here for a fuller review.
More to come…
From Hearts & Minds BookNotes:
Make College Count: A Faithful Guide to Life & Learning by Derek Melleby (Baker) $12.99, cover design by Lookout Design. You know that we’ve promoted this widely, our store and BookNotes gets a shout out, and we think it is the best graduation gift to any college-bound senior. We had read the manuscript and knew we’d be pressing it into the hands of many, so it had to look sharp. This little hardback, sans dust jacket, succeeds wonderfully, with odd little plus signs and a rich fall color scheme that invites you right on campus. The typography uses slightly different colors (and that plus sign is used as an ampersand). These nice touches and the bright spine shows off a very intentionally created cover. Good design inside, too. Just great!
Click here to read the rest of the selections.
